When I was pregnant with Luca I had visions of him being an explorer. During intimate sessions with our dear friend Robyn Sheldon I was able to tap into our shared and entwined inner consciousness and meet Luca on a soul level. Often he came to meet me near calm waters, next to the soft shore of an ocean, and once we met on a small, serene, and private island that was surrounded by a school of fish and a sea that held ribbons of deep purples, blues, and pinks. It was a time of enchantment!
It was incredible to feel our connection deepen before our grand meeting on this earthly plane. It deepened my connection not just to Luca but also to the magic that surrounds our existence. It brought me closer to feeling a connection to our divine source and reminded me of our inherent fragility. At once we are all star dust, tumbling around in the grandness of our cosmos, and over and over we come to this earth trailing the dreams of our past expansiveness.
I felt majestic during my pregnancy. I felt more connected to our heavens above and alive with a sense of awe. That wonder now continues as we explore the magic of this earth with our lenses of purity renewed. Luca has been our guide and teacher. His whole exploration here is alive and aglow with the remnants of a glorious heaven. What love he holds within him!
As a chill began to creep onto the shores of the Gulf Islands, we headed south this past winter to the waters of the Pacific Ocean. We wanted to enrich our surroundings with a warming sun and spend time together as a family with nature alive. It was such a gift to play with our curious child in the sand, water, and jungle! Luca’s continuous laughter brought us so much joy.
It truly felt as though we had found paradise. A serenity that dwelled not just in our surrounding landscape but that which we felt in our hearts. Here was a place where Luca was free to be naked and roam the sands of the beach as if each granule held a secret. He saw each insect as a majestic creature of a different realm. Each sunrise and the cascading warmth felt by all of his cells awakened within him a sense of this earthly wonder …
And our hearts bore witness to what he received. Here I got to fully relax into the idea that ‘everything is truly okay’ and I felt that life has afforded me such richness. As a new mother sometimes it is easy to feel overwhelmed by new found responsibilities in the home. The ease of which we were able to surrender into the beauty of our coastal paradise allowed me to release something else I had been holding onto.
What I came to realize is that my greatest responsibility, the task ripping open my heart, was not limited to what I could provide in the home, but, what was most important was how I allowed my child to view the world – what wonder I instilled through his senses. As sentient beings our environment builds up the richness of our souls. In Costa Rica we had richness flowing in from all perspectives. The treasures of nature were abundant and here we were as patient and peaceful observers.
Life was so salient all of a sudden. The sun, clouds, rain, trees, and coconuts were all there as these beautiful reminders. Fruit, palms, insects, and animals surrounded us and revealed a certain truth – nature never pauses. Life is always growing. There is no rushing, yet everything is accomplished.
I am grateful for these moments of reflection in where I see the love underlying all that we do. I am taken back to a place of surrender. I hold so close to my heart what sometimes feels like an eternal clue – a vessel of our wide stretching unity. He so easily grounds me and gives me the space to pause and remember that there is a natural order of things.
We follow the same rhythm as the growth of all those coconut trees that so gracefully stood in place, stoically in tune with our universe. I would love to get back to that place of our infancy when time is minute-less, sensations come and go, and the world is luminescent. We touch this place every now and then as we embark on this journey of parenthood, and as Luca grows and grows it is asked of us more. Even as crazy as it all is sometimes, I know there is so much joy left to be discovered!